something just sad

     We are about to say goodbye to 2010 and wishing all the best for the year ahead.The college is going to be closed from the next week and I am a bit nervous, same as usual , at this particular time !

    

     I don't know why every year, few days just before the new year I feel so sad, so sorrowful, as if I am going to a funeral. I feel like going to bury a small lovely wounded bird when its heart still is beating... but you know it is going to die soon and you have no choice but to put it in a grave and stay in the grief for several days. ( This is one of the earliest memories of my childhood.I used to keep it as a secret, pretending I was a Man and I had to cope with those merciless incidents. I had wounded the bird and then needed doing something to make up  for the crime I committed ; a punishment ! )

     I knew quite lots of people who don't feel happy in the beginning of the new year, especially people living in the place where I used to live.We grew up in war and violence, in poverty and mercilessness. Although we had the great expectations and fantastic daydreams, all the moments of our dreams was covered by the grey collor of the sorrow.

     I know... and I am really sorry...! This is not an appropriate note for greeting a new year, but this is the only room where I can speak in freely.I try to talk to my readers directly, as well as to myself, to feel relieved  when I finished writing.This is the dark side of the writing,harmful for our readers but a great relief for us.

     But I am sure we are going to feel better as the time goes by, The future is bright and our beloved children will touch the beauty of the new year and we won't remember all these years we walked through in the dark.