Thursday, June 09, 2011

The past, The present And The Future


  Today I was thinking of the changes have appeared in my mind recently. My thoughts are getting as simple as a kid's mind. I like to watch an exiting film with adventurous characters and funny stories ( Alone At Home would be a perfect Example !). I wish to go to a beach playing in hot golden sand, building a castle in a warm sunshine. I feel I need to go for a walk in the local park every evening.

 Believe it or not, the only thing I really enjoy is cycling , these days. Tonight I rode over ten miles to visit a friend on my bike. It was just before twelve in the midnight when I suddenly decided to come back home. It was windy and my fingers were freezing on the way.

 On my bike, I was trying to recall a very old memory of my childhood : My siblings were practicing cycling in a summer night many years ago. I was about 6 or 7. I wasn't allowed to use the bike because of my age but the others were trying to learn one by one. Then my elder brother disappeared from our sight for a few minutes. I just remember it was a frightening moment. My sister holding my hand was almost crying. I am not sure if I was crying too but I can still feeling the fear we had until he came ack to us and we returned home.

 Now, nobody's around me in this calm and cold spring night on the London's street , but all the memories of my beloved siblings are with me.

 I won't try to escape from the past when I know that the future might not be bright. This is my philosophy : Keep the past at every moment of the present, this is the only responsibility you have for stepping forward in your life.




Sunday, June 05, 2011

Darkness


   I am here now to write about the depth of the darkness which I feel in my soul. I am full of Darkness. People might call it depression but I am using my own expression.This is just like a nightmare, a nightmare with a frightening silence. I feel always cold, trying to see at least a sign of a tiny little light but there is no hope to find any. Everywhere is black, dark, cold and haunted by the silence.

 These days I am living with this fantastic song : My heart is fed up with staying in the dark.