Confession 1

     We finished the class a bit earlier today.Unfortunately, the next teacher was sick. It seemed most students didn't like to leave.The teacher was pretending that we had our choices :  either staying more in the class or going home. The vast majority of the students accepted to stay, but he gave us another chance to choose again... !!!  His eyes and his pitiable intonation was telling about his strong intention to stop ! Again we liked to stay ! Then, he gave us even more chances to choose, keep saying it was up to the class decision !

    Finally, the vast majority of the class understood and decided to go home... !! He won the referendum !

     We were leaving the building but decided to get back to the buffet.We saw some of our classmates sitting and chatting there... and we joined them.

      Conversation was quite ordinary and boring. I remember my previous class in Sheffield which was really exciting. Although I was working hard and struggling with a  specific serious problem, I would rarely miss the lessons.Our teacher, Dora , was brilliant. I still remember the word she said once.  " We are not only learning English language here, we are also learning from each other." She used to say. She was teaching communication skills, English culture ( but in Yorkshire's field !!), the ways to build up our confidence and many more as well as English grammar.

      Here in London , I had ideas about the changes we needed in the class and today, spoke to others about them. Soon after, when I was walking home, I changed my mind.I asked myself to mind my own business, to put aside my old emotional traits.There is no obligation to help the people who don't want probably the change.

     

      There was actually another reason to give up my plans. The guy who hints occasionally about the mistake I made.He knows a little kiddy secret and remind me so often.Every time he says something , I feel so humiliated. But I am proud of myself not saying anything back, but to blame myself again and again.

     

     I feel so sad , when I think there are people living in the dark but brushing off a little candle, as if they are enjoying the life in darkness. I feel so sad, when I see a prisoner has got used to the prison, doesn't try to feel the enjoyment of the freedom.

     I feel so sad, when I realise I have no power to give others a hand. And I am suspicious whether I am in the same situation or not ! Who knows the truth.